Should Teachers Ask a Child With Selective Mutism Questions?

If a child with selective mutism isn’t speaking at school, teachers can be unsure about what to do.

Should they keep asking questions?

Should they stop asking altogether?

Neither approach is quite right.

The goal isn’t to avoid communicating with the child. It’s to find ways of communicating that don’t create unnecessary pressure around speaking.

Why can questions be difficult?

For most children, being asked a question is a normal part of the school day.

“What did you do on the weekend?”

“What’s the answer?”

“Which book would you like?”

But for a child with selective mutism, a direct question can create an expectation that they need to speak.

They may know the answer.

They may want to answer.

They may even have the words ready in their head.

But anxiety can make it difficult to say them aloud.

This can be particularly difficult when other children are listening or looking at them.

If the teacher asks again because the child hasn’t answered, the pressure can build.

Should teachers stop asking questions?

Not necessarily.

Avoiding all questions can unintentionally send the message that the child isn’t expected to participate.

It can also make it harder for the teacher to find out what the child knows or needs.

Instead, think about how, when and why you’re asking the question.

A child who finds it difficult to answer a question in front of the whole class may be more comfortable responding when the teacher is nearby and there are fewer people around.

Another child might be able to answer using a nod, pointing or writing, even though they can’t give a spoken answer.

The response doesn’t always have to be spoken.

Try comments as well as questions

Questions aren’t the only way to communicate with a child.

Comments can take some of the pressure away because they don’t require an immediate response.

For example, instead of:

“What are you drawing?”

you could say:

“You’ve drawn a lot of people in your picture.”

Or instead of:

“Did you enjoy the excursion?”

you might say:

“It looked like you had a busy day yesterday.”

The child can respond if they want to.

There’s no demand for an answer.

Over time, these small interactions can help build a comfortable relationship between the child and teacher.

Avoid asking the same question repeatedly

If a child doesn’t answer, it can be tempting to ask again.

“What colour is it?”

“What colour?”

“Can you tell me what colour it is?”

For a child experiencing anxiety, each additional question can increase the pressure.

If the child isn’t able to answer, try moving on rather than making the lack of response the focus.

You can come back to the topic later or provide another way for the child to respond.

This doesn’t mean the teacher is giving up.

It’s about recognising when the pressure is becoming too much.

Give the child other ways to respond

A child with selective mutism may be able to communicate without speaking.

They might:

• Nod or shake their head
• Point
• Use gestures
• Write an answer
• Choose between two options
• Show the teacher what they mean
• Use a communication system where appropriate

These responses can be useful, particularly when the child is very anxious.

For example, instead of asking, “Do you need help?” and waiting for a spoken answer, a teacher could offer a choice:

“Do you need help with this one or this one?”

The child might point to the option they need.

This allows the child to communicate without having to produce speech when they’re not ready.

What about answering questions in front of the class?

Being asked to answer in front of everyone can be particularly difficult.

A child might know the answer perfectly well but freeze when attention turns towards them.

Teachers can reduce pressure by avoiding putting the child on the spot.

For example, if the class is taking turns reading aloud, the child shouldn’t be unexpectedly asked to read if speaking in front of the class is currently too difficult.

This doesn’t mean they’ll never be able to do it.

Spoken participation can be built gradually as the child’s anxiety decreases.

The important thing is to work from what the child can currently manage rather than jumping straight to the most difficult situation.

What if the child can answer privately?

Some children with selective mutism communicate more easily when they’re alone with a teacher.

Others may still find direct questions difficult even when there are no other children around.

There’s no single rule.

If a child is comfortable speaking privately, this can provide useful opportunities for communication.

But teachers shouldn’t assume that taking the child aside will automatically make them talk.

The level of anxiety can change depending on the person, place and situation.

Don’t make a big deal when the child speaks

If a child who rarely speaks suddenly answers a question, it can be tempting to show how pleased you are.

“Wow! You talked!”

“Everyone, Sarah just answered!”

Even though this is meant positively, drawing attention to the speech can make the child feel self-conscious.

A calm, natural response is often more helpful.

Simply continue the conversation.

The child doesn’t need to feel that every spoken word is being watched or celebrated.

Keep communicating with the child

One of the most important things teachers can do is continue to communicate with the child.

Don’t stop talking to them because they aren’t answering.

Don’t leave them out of conversations.

Don’t assume they don’t understand because they’re not speaking.

Talk to them in the same warm and respectful way you would talk to any other child.

Give them opportunities to participate and respond in ways they can manage.

At the same time, avoid creating situations where they’re repeatedly expected to speak when they’re clearly struggling.

The aim isn’t to remove all expectations to speak

It can sometimes feel as though the safest option is to never ask a child with selective mutism to speak.

But the long-term goal isn’t for the child to avoid speaking forever.

Treatment and support can involve gradually increasing spoken communication in situations that currently feel difficult.

The pace matters.

A child needs opportunities to experience success rather than being pushed into situations that are far beyond what they can currently manage.

Teachers can work with parents and the child’s treating professionals to understand what the child is currently able to do and how communication can be gradually extended.

So, should teachers ask questions?

Yes, but thoughtfully.

Think about the child’s anxiety, the situation, the wording of the question and what alternatives are available.

A question shouldn’t become a test that the child has to pass.

Sometimes the best interaction will be a question. Sometimes it’ll be a comment. Sometimes the child may answer with a gesture, a nod or a written response.

What matters is keeping the child included and finding ways to communicate that support them without putting them under unnecessary pressure.

More articles: What Is Selective Mutism? A Guide for Parents | CBT for Selective Mutism | Is Selective Mutism an Anxiety Disorder? | Speech Therapy, Play Therapy or Medication for Selective Mutism? | Selective Mutism or Shyness?